SENTOSA GETAWAY!

more pictures to come! yeah!

on the ferry

march past

donning of jockey cap

Finally found time to come online..has been so busy this whole week. Yst was parent teacher meeting..got to go back school on a saturday and rush for lessons in the afternoon. hardly even have time for family on weekdays and now lagi jia lat.

dear had his POP this tuesday! 9th Dec! had so much fun on the ferry sitting on the top level where u can feel the sea breeze!

SHayenne's teething! 2 small teeth growing on her lower front. so cute. and she's starting to make those pa,pa,pa words

YEAHS!! ITS THE WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS!!

HAHA!simply love weekends and hoildays now.no work,dear's home!triple hooray!

Have been sooosoooosooo busy and stress with work this week.very tiring.3 new students enrolled into my class.all are crying koala bears.and of cause I'm their tree.Got so many things things to do yet so little time.And most tiring thing is from the moment you enter the centre and out the centre,you got no time to rest and relax at all..

Shayenne's starting to say "papapapapa.."so cute.It's the talking motor skills not exactly saying PAPa.

some pictures of my PG 1 and 2

JUST DO IT!
jor's mum took shayenne out to gai-gai.was so bored at home and it was scorching hot outside.Suddenly felt like swimming.Within 5 minutes I packed up my stuff and went down to buy a swimming costume which I got a discount of 90 cents...was ages since i last swam.for a year maybe.
when u feel like doing something, just do it!

urgh..school's started.and i dont like it.finally found a time to blog after so many days.schedule was so hectic.hardly have anytime to rest expect sleeping time.

75% of my class comprises of malay,15% indian,10% chinese.and out of the 10% chinese,I'm the only young one there.OMG. how to survive.the whole class is practically aunties.

doing up the portfolio for PG1 and 2.so many upcoming activities to do.yearbook,curriculum training wat so ever.why did i ever chose this line in the first place?i wanna be a policewoman!boo hoo hoo

come home quick and save me from this!

as i was lying on my bed.i was thinking,am i really passionate abt my current job now?or am just passing time working in a childcare?do i really want to study the diploma they offer me.then i realise-i dont feel passionate and looking forward to my job everyday.I'm really just passing time there.and i want the dip for the sake of becas it's a DIPLOMA.then i realise how serious my problem is.lets say if I'm really taking up the offer,i've got to stay working as a childcare teacher for 3 and a half years (2 years ofstudy and 1 .5 years of study bond and above that i'll get paid for studying while working so the $$$ is not a bad sum though the pay is only 3 digit.)HOWEVER,its gonna be VERY VERY VERY tough cas dear's also pursuing his army career now and may not be home often.so u see???no husband??






talked to dear over the phone regarding our future and our career.i told him-"if we have no baby now,i'll defintely sign on police or other UG.but given my current O level status,i'll only be a corporal.so it's not worth to sign on now.might as be bonded with the childcare,at least got ppl to take care of shayenne and get a dip to start off with a better rank in police.but very very very xin ku larh,got to suffer for 3.5 years and i really feel very stressful working there.






dear told me that he'll support wateva decision i make.but it's still afterall better to stick with the childcare and get a diploma first.afterall shayenne is still young.by the time i finish my study bond with company.shayenne will be about 4 years old,by that time he's army career and income will also be stable and i can pursue my police career.even though it's gonna be tough on me for the next 4 years or so but what you reap is what you sow..we'll got to work hard and support each other through and be there for each other,for the sake of us and shayenne






???(wha...)and i think think think..ya..starting a family isn't that easy.there is no short cut way to it.o level will bring uto no where in times of recession like this.since im given a chance to study and work and with ppl taking care of shayenne at the same time,y not???endure for the next 4 years...yeah?afterall something is better than nothing!

do u believe tt miracles happen?

i do..i prayed for it and within the next 30secs my wish came true.i thought i was dreaming but it's no coincidence.thank you god.

just sent dear off to tekong again.same mood.went swensens for lunch.heex

went to changi hospital to visit jor's ah ma.shayenne wore her new cow suit.super cute.she has really grown alot.

I'm unwell again.went to see doc and take mc..everythings not good..

cooked cheng teng yst night.dear was suppose to come home on thurs but now became friday.dear was supppose to be home now.but he's confined till tmr..which is like wtf* super pissed.

few days ago,one girl from my class cant get to toilet in time and she pooed on her pants.the worses thing is that a piece of her poo dropped on my feet.got to wash her pants and butt butt..

gonna be so bored at home.

just send dear off to tekong..depressing..was stoning all the way back home.no mood

really enjoyed the time we spent tgt these few days.

mr botak took home a whole load of sandy,muddy,dirty,smelly uniforms from his field camp.which we spent the whole night washing by hands till 1 am.but it was fun.hehee

got dear's mum to help us take care of baby yst while we go par tor.haha.went to watch the coffin at amk hub.story line not very good but lots of "surprises" which makes u jolt out of the seat.it has been super duper long since we lastnwatched a movie.went pool-ing after that.the whole place was flooded with people.woots! totally like the times when we were dating. lols. quality time over quantity time. was really very sweet these few days. =)

arghs.work tmr.mentally drained u know....tired...

I AM TAKING CARE OF TERRORIST KIDS!!!

Argh!!im very very very stress up with my work.besides having to take care of playgroup (2-3 yrs old) 1 and 2.still got to prepare lesson plan for every week,portfolio,worksheet file,artwork file,send home folder,take pictures of and for every single kid.

how come kids nowadays are @#$#$#%^^^% ??? kids are being treated like "king" at home,giving us teachers a hard time.childcare work is really tough and long hours.one mus be really be very dedicated and passionate towards this job..must have very very good patience as well.and im trying very hard to.

I'm really very tired.after work still got to carry shayenne all the way home.do household chores.pack all the stuff...shag out totally.

just wanna dear to faster come home and help me out..tsk tsk tsk =(

oh gawd..i'm so drained...kids nowadays are totally haywire. working with kids gives u headache and high blood pressure! this cry that cry baby cry,kids go running around throwing toys and fighting with their friends.could be quite nerve breaking sometimes.

we are their part time daddy/mummy/ah gong/ah ma
we are their part time entertainer
we are their part time maid
we are their part time discipline master
we are their part time teacher

first day of infantcare.shayenne cry like hell.could even hear her from the classroom.kinda heartbreak ah..haha.so far so gd,not bad..

i am so tired.goodnight.

the happy family (tt's baby xander!)


this is baby shayenne



pastor chris solemnising




exchange of vows

daddies

some pictures of abi's wedding at the merlion park.more to uplaod..

dear dear is in field camp now..totally no contact =) appreciating the time alone..i'm starting work tmr!bringing shayenne to her new childcare also!can work and see her at the same time..gonna be a hectic schedule..got to to work,study and take care of shayenne at the same time...phew..god bless me

super super super bored at home...take me to another place now!!i don't mind going tekong to get tekan and shag out..it's better off rotting at home..

took some pictures of gal..dear's mom brought back a MERCEDEZ for gal..haha let her to try on it..very cute.very funny.

it's 2am.goodnight

super depressing..dear's back to tekong again.suddenly recieve notice that he's going field camp this saturday.which means he'll only be back next saturday.oh wells...wat can we do???

anyways..met up with von for dinner at macs.enjoyed so much talking to her.talked abt abi's wedding this coming sat and lots of last time memories in SJC and npcc..

still rmbed thailand trip during our Sec 1.was bathing with yiying,and we forgot to take towel .so i had to went out half naked and got discovered by forgotten which maam.tt was sooooo embarrasing.geography trip to malaysia..lol.so many hilarious moments..and not forgetting our clique was called Y.M.C.A (Yvonne,Mei dan,Carmen,Adeline) and our name still lies somewhere on the punggol end wall!

rmb the times when we went some ulu playground near chomp chomp and they was a grass slope near-by.so i asked why not lets roll down the slope!hahaa.we were still in our sch uniform then.but nevertheless,we still rolled down the slope =)fun fun fun!!

IJ friends are friends for life.this is so true...

dear will be home tmr!!!

yeah yeah yeah =) prepared lots of stuff for him!got to cook crysanthemun tea for dear ltr too.
went to submit the application for the course in pre sch teaching today at bugis.got to push shayenne along too.kinda troublesome.but i managed!

after that,took a train from bugis all the way to woodland and changed bus to sister jasmine hse for dinner.super long journey.train-sicked.

and now I'm home sweet home!

HAPPY 30TH MONTHSARY DEAR!

hellos everyone! it has been like 5 months since i last blogged!

and I'm back!

time really flies.blink blink.my dear shayenne has turned 4 months.getting naughtier and naughtier.simply having fun with her 24/7.full time mommy

will continue to start my job on nov.yeas.working now in a childcare call Cherie Hearts.quite an established childcare.will be sending shayenne to the infantcare at the same centre too.also they'll be sponsoring me for the dip in pre sch teaching.

my plans?

intending to complete my study bond with them.then...either sign on with the army or the police with a diploma.

updates on labour day!:

18 June 2008(what to expect on delivery day!)

9am:started having stomachache.feels like you've ate something wrong and you just wanna shit.sat in the toilet for 1/2 hour but nothing comes out.feels abit of back ache

10am:called sister jasmine(a lady from church whom i was staying with) and told her I think I am going into labour.started bleeding abit.sms-ed dear whom was working.told him i'm most probably going into labour.he got so happy n excited.like finally the day has arrived.pain started coming every 10-15 minutes.i practically lied on the bed and timed every minute.

1pm:sister jasmine friend drove us to gleneagles hosp.went to see gynae first.confirmed that I was 3 cm dilated and I'm gonna give birth!

2pm:being admitted and wheeled into labour ward.the labour ward was so nicely furnished and cosy.sofa for baby's daddy.television.toilet.you got the whole room to yourself.changed into a bare back gown.nurse stripped me to this headphone device that monitor's baby heartbeat.so thruout the birth process you could hear pob-pob-pob-pob

2.30pm:dear rushed down to the ward.everything was still ok.could laugh,joke and watch tv.the pain was still managable.

5pm plus:water bag broke.had no feeling.just kept feeling that I was bleeding profusely.pain started to become painer.was grabbing dear's hand.didn't feel like saying anything.endured till I couldn't and ask for the gas mask.so i was breathing and breathing whenevr the pain came.

7pm plus:i was on my verge of breaking down.nurses kept asking on whether do i need an epidural(happy-dural).imagine poking a needle and tube at your spine?!crazy,as if i would.i would rather breath my gas and scream my way thru.which was wat i did.kept squeezing dear's hand all the way.was groaning and crying in pain.

somehow all women have bad temper when they're giving birth.dear kept comforting me to keep quiet,to relax and ask me to breath properly.even attempted to take my gas mask away cas i was breathing in too much.was very pissed off with him at that time.haha.dunno why?try asking a women who's in labour pain to do something and you'll be snapped at.didnt felt like talking.so i was cursing and swearing at him in my heart.haha.he don't know that.he was abit pissed off too cause I wasn't breathing properly like all the other woman do in those tv shows.haha

9pm plus:the PAINER became PAINEST!i was practically screaming every time the pain comes.omigod.the pain is the kind of pain you could never imagine the pain..yea.was screaming and squeezing dear's hand like you cld almost crush his bones for he got you pregnant and he's not the one going thru the PAINEST period!you just felt like you're never ever want to give birth again and dear god jus ask the baby to come out NOW.

finally.at 9.21pm.i felt the urge to push.gynae wasnt there but the senior nurse was there.and dear didn't allow me to push(i cursed him again)...haha.baby was alr crowning(head starting to appear)didn't care for anything at that moment.just kept breathing frantically into the gas mask and screaming into it.kept my eyes close i dunno why.probably too pain to open.the next thing i saw was the doctor in full attire and many nurse pushing my stomach down.PUSHHHH!!! so i was given the green light to push.HAH.was screaming so loudly till the doctor asked dear to cover my mouth and keep quiet.lol..was "caking" my screams into dear's hand.while pushing,i knew doctor was cutting my down there but it felt really nothing.at the 3rd push,i felt something big slipped out and then SHayenne's cry!the final pain while pushing is like something big stuck down there and you feel like you haven't shitted for a million years.yeap

was totally exhausted and blurred from breathing the gas mask.didn't manage to see my birth process.but got a glimpse of baby's umbillical cord (just like pig intestine).baby was weighed and a tube was inserted into her stomach to suck out the amniotic fluid.dear kept feeling so heartbreak cas that procedure look painful to shayenne.but at tt pt of time i was thinking 'serve her right to feel pain.who ask her give me so much pain'.haha.quite bad hurr.then i slowly gain back my alertness.tears started flowing.it was tears of joy...

AFTER BIRTH

thank god everything's over?NOoo...down there will be bleeding the blood for the past 9 months.the wound down there will be raw and painful.practically lied on the bed and didn't moved my lower part of my body for the entire night.felt really uncomfortable.couldn't really sleep thruout the whole night.kept thinking of baby which i didn't even get to carry after birth.

ConClusion

giving birth is fun and unforgettable!

went for check up today.3 more weeks!

gynae says baby head is turning down and she weighs bout 2kg plus plus alr..feeling so heavy n uncomfortable with the tummy.
getting more n more excited for the baby to arrive :))

will be delivering at Gleneagles..so dear friends wait for my good news!

One more month and baby will be out!

The gynae estimated that baby will be out on the 15th of June!which is so coincidently my birthday and fathers' day!so looking forward to it!
Really cant wait to see baby Shayenne 朱 诗 恩 (:

I MISS
i miss wearing the blue pinafore
i miss the recess time we had tgt
i miss the canteen food
i miss climbing the stairs and changing classroom every lesson
i miss singing the national anthem every 7.20 in the morning
i miss the after school hangouts at compass
i miss the times when we were having np trainings
i miss the times when we were training tgt for competitions
i miss wearing the beret that looks like a cook hat
i miss the punishments we did tgt
i miss the changing parades when we stink up the whole toilet
i miss singing cheers with my squadmates

how nice if time could turn back again

23 APRIL 2008
Happy 2 years anniversary!
yeap!finally after so long so many events we've been tgt for 2 years!

went for check up today.got my blood test report.everything was okay expect my red blood cells was abit low.got to eat more red meat.doctor says shyanne is about 1kg now!didn't get to see baby shayenne face today as her face was not faced out..only saw her heartbeat beating.haha
yup.most of my friends and some relatives should have alr know abt my situation now..wasnt prepared to tell anyone abt it but sometimes i jus cant handle stuffs alone especially when this is a lifetime decision and commitment.there is no pt hiding and lying everything, pushing everything down myself keeping quiet..i dun wanna lead a hide and seek life anymore..

My confession
...dear and i will be havin a baby soon :)and yes this is an unplanned pregnancy..have been hearing alot of advices and soughting help from many many many people..and finally our decision was to keep baby and start a family,and of cas we'll be getting solemnized sometime next month..

I have also hurt my parent alot alot..mum's havin a depression over this.though i dont tell them how i feel..i stil cry alot alot everytime i think of them everytime someone mentions abt them..i really know i've hurt them alot alot and nothing can be done now to undo their hurt and tears...i jus pray and hope that their pain will ease as time passes.

it hurts even more to know that you've hurt the one who loves you most,there's only hurt when there's love

our current plans now is
1. to quickly find a hse to stay..preferably dear's parent home..
2.dear to sign on police

there is jus so many things to prepare mentally and financially..it's really a very very tough and unclear road ahead of what's going to happen..jus hav to be mentally prepared for anything and everything..come what may..really hope this baby will be our source of motivation and determination :)

Anyway..will be naming our baby girl Shayenne Choo Shi En..baby will be due in this year mid June..which is abt 2 months time :) glad that she's healthy and everything's okay..shayenne's kicking and punching more often now..hiccups alot too..haha..dear's kinda excited and sometimes too over-concerned abt baby..kept isisting to buy the classical music which has Mozart and Beetoven for baby to listen..but most of the time i would end up asleep from listening..so i don't know whether baby's listening or not..haa..if not he'll always say why my tummy still so small,y baby still so small..other pregnant woman 7 mths stomach so big..lol..and everyday without fail,he'll be asking whether i drink milk alr not,eat vitamins alr not..

shared many many things with dear abt baby..like wat sch we wld want her to go to..wat courses we'll send her for..how will we raise her up etc etc..really wondering what kind of parent dear and i will be next time..how our child will be like in the future...

didi's birhtday today! happy birthday :)) held a birthday party for him last week at home..and today was dinner at Swensen's :))

went queensway yst with dear to buy shoe..apparently we walked and looked in shoe shop to look for his "ideal" shoe. dear had a weird taste.. keeps taking on fancy for those female shoes. oOps. LOL.. had to keep telling that.. bought a billabong slipper for my bro as his bdae present..dear paid for it.didnt want him to..thks dear.

still surviving so far..17 june seems nearer and nearer..yeaps..

HAPPY HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY DEAR DEAR!

finally gotten our pay from Humming House! three digit number only..got to save up the $$$!

anyways..was dear's bdae today...brought him all the way till Clementi's Sakura for a buffet

dinner! super full..ate from 7 till 9 plus..chiong-ed all the way till we were fully bloated :)

at 12 midnight of his bdae-ARCADE

our specially designed mango ice cream

and mango cake

"hypocrite wish making"

happy 20th bdae darling (:

She's gonna fly
When her time here is through
First she'll have to let go
Of some things she can't use
'Cause people and places
Memories and faces
Are just way too heavy it seems
To carry on angel's wings

am i just gonna let her go?...to somewhere she'll be happier...

welcome me back! haven been blogging for quite a while...

my life has been kinda screwed up..very very screwed...and nobody knows abt it...nobody knows evrything tt im going thru...

hardly been :)))) these few weeks...cant smile anymore

anyway found a new job... starting tmr.. working at someplace called HUmming bird (something like NOEL) yeah.. gifts, flowers, bouquets, wraths and suchs... doesnt pay quite well but at least im workin! im contributing to my pocket...

dear taught me how to play mahjong and bingo using mahjong within one day..haha..now i noe how to play le!!! but still undergoing training.

haven been blogging lately..lazyness has took over me!

monday blues.went to the food expo last week with dear.saw plenty plenty of food and ate alot alot of food.ate the ma la fishball till our nose were watering..

saw tiang and chael coincidently! my long lost classmate. heex, so happy :) i miss my friends so much.read the past year entries of my blog.haha everything seems just like yst.memories so close to my heart can yet only be memories :)

-lost in emotions- que sara que sara

whheehees!! -sick- thanks to the hectic schedule these few days....

anyway i've started work alr..started on monday. 1st day of work as a childcare teacher! was attached to the nursery class (N2) tgt with another partner!

9am: Start the national anthem and pledge taking (both english and chinese!). Then they'll start singing some songs and a compulsory "good morning" song..haha so cute..

9.30am: Start of english lesson. conducted by my partner.

10am: Bathing time! brought all the kids to the toilet and bathe for them..both boys and girls..haha..first time bathing kids! kinda troublesome..some had their own shampoo and soap and we've got to rmb...

11am: Playtime..got to rmb this boy and this boy cannot sit tgt cause they will fight...meanwhile read some storybooks for them..

11am plus plus: Lunchtime! don't have to feed them at all..

12.30: Nap time. Got to carry out the mattress for them..then they'll put the mattress cover themselves...meanwhile it's our lunchtime..haha.lunch is cooked for us..so watever the kids eat we eat..msged dear a while in the meantime..haha

2.30: wake up and teatime...

3.00: my chinese lesson time!! taught them about deepavali..got to say everything in chinese..abit stressful ah...tu yao jie..

3.30: Dance time..they would be practising a dance for their concert at 27 nov..

the rest of the time would be freetime for them...lots of things to rmb for the kids...have to adapt diff teaching techniques to the kids also..got to be firm with them..and tons of things to rmb...

haha but so far im loving my job!

Finally!! long time no blog le. internet was down...anyways..i've found myself a job! yes!

will be working as a childcare relief teacher...haha. starting work soon...gonna be fun!


todays our 18 months dear! happy happy happy one and a half year!!!